Notice: Undefined index: HTTP_ACCEPT_ENCODING in /home/jppl4xl3dfxh/public_html/configuration.php on line 8
Vikaas :: punjabizm.com
Punjabi Literature
 View Forum
 Create New Topic
 Search in Forums
  Home > Communities > Punjabi Literature > Forum > messages
เจฐเฉ‚เจช  เจขเจฟเฉฑเจฒเฉ‹เจ‚
เจฐเฉ‚เจช
Posts: 609
Gender: Male
Joined: 26/May/2010
Location: Reigate, Surrey, UK
View All Topics by เจฐเฉ‚เจช
View All Posts by เจฐเฉ‚เจช
 
Vikaas

http://www.5abi.com/kahani/kahani2008/024-vikaas-roop-dhillon-090610.htm

 

Please be aware that there are errors..but no one had time to fix them, so it was published as it is..enjoy

09 Jun 2010

เจฐเฉ‚เจช  เจขเจฟเฉฑเจฒเฉ‹เจ‚
เจฐเฉ‚เจช
Posts: 609
Gender: Male
Joined: 26/May/2010
Location: Reigate, Surrey, UK
View All Topics by เจฐเฉ‚เจช
View All Posts by เจฐเฉ‚เจช
 

Honesty is required

 

Some background history...as you probably have already noticed, I have an unsual style of writing sentences, possibly because of my UK background..

 

Vikaas was sent to a poet in Canada to fix, to remove errors, spelling mistakes et cetra...I hope he has, for punjabi is my second language so I am unlikely to notice my own mistakes...

 

Anyhow, although 5abi agreed to publish, they stated that they felt that the proof reader did not do a good job, and the material has many errors..

 

So my question is

 

Is the publisher correct? Or is the guy that said he has fixed it? Is it an issue of the older generation not understanding my experimenting with Punjabi language? or have I got it wrong, and this should only be seen as a 1st draft that needs someone to look at it?

 

Please be honest

09 Jun 2010

เจ•เฉเจฒเจœเฉ€เจค  เจšเฉ€เจฎเจพเจ‚
เจ•เฉเจฒเจœเฉ€เจค
Posts: 806
Gender: Female
Joined: 21/Apr/2010
Location: Edmonton
View All Topics by เจ•เฉเจฒเจœเฉ€เจค
View All Posts by เจ•เฉเจฒเจœเฉ€เจค
 

I read the whole story/article... there are mistakes which I would like to point out:


1. Typos errors, though small but significant.


2. Lots of small sentences, there are places where you complete the sentence with "dandi" or full stop, but those small sentences should have been merged with 'comma'.


3. At some points I lost link among sentences, may be they are too complicated, that I went back and forth couple of times to grab the story.


4. Too much unexpected things that too in a suspense thriller type... 


But I must say that your narration and your thinking is beyond imagination, the story line is just wow and unique, its story of ours but in an amazing way.

I love the story !!!


Kind Regards

Cheema Kuljit 

09 Jun 2010

เจฐเฉ‚เจช  เจขเจฟเฉฑเจฒเฉ‹เจ‚
เจฐเฉ‚เจช
Posts: 609
Gender: Male
Joined: 26/May/2010
Location: Reigate, Surrey, UK
View All Topics by เจฐเฉ‚เจช
View All Posts by เจฐเฉ‚เจช
 

Thanks Bhain Ji!! I must admit, some sentences were done like that janhkay...and I put in a lot of detail, as I viewed it as a potencial Punjabi film, hopefully not staring Harbhajan Maan..

 

Anyhow thanks for serious input and support..I guess I better look at it like a 1st draft, to be re-submitted to a publisher later...I take it Kaldaar fared better?

 

LOL

10 Jun 2010

เจฐเฉ‚เจช  เจขเจฟเฉฑเจฒเฉ‹เจ‚
เจฐเฉ‚เจช
Posts: 609
Gender: Male
Joined: 26/May/2010
Location: Reigate, Surrey, UK
View All Topics by เจฐเฉ‚เจช
View All Posts by เจฐเฉ‚เจช
 

I have been thinking about this for about 2 days now, esp as it affects how I write Mulakat...When I began writing both Dungha Paani and Vikaas, I had the intention of messing about with the rules of grammar...to be experimental...Charles Dickens for example has been popular through the 20th century, but it is a fact he broke all the rules set for proper English at the time..today a great award winning writer amongst the intelligensia is John Banville...who pushes and twists the rules of English. The ordinary fellow can not understand his English, and like the great writer Virginia Woolf, befiore him, the reader often has to read his sentences two or three times. He is a clever writer, but does not sell many books ( he won the booker prize a while back, but never sells more than a few hundred books world wise, in contrast say to JK Rowling, who writes in simple English, and we know how popular Harry Potter is!).

 

I have tried to apply Banville's techniques to Punjabi, which means messing about with sentence structure. So I am concerned, if I misspell words, but not if the Sentence structure is alien to the pedestrian reader...my objective is not to give the reader an easy time, but force Punjabis to think deeply...change their ideas of what is acceptable...in this context Piaaa Singh, to whom I gave the manuscript to correct, before publishing on the websites, fully understood that, and gave me the leeway...

 

I hope this explains, the strangeness of my Punjabi...if not, here is a sample from Banville, a genious of the English language, whose sentences are so different to what grammar expects...

 

http://www.themanchesterreview.co.uk/content_item.php?issue=1&id=0

12 Jun 2010

เจฐเฉ‚เจช  เจขเจฟเฉฑเจฒเฉ‹เจ‚
เจฐเฉ‚เจช
Posts: 609
Gender: Male
Joined: 26/May/2010
Location: Reigate, Surrey, UK
View All Topics by เจฐเฉ‚เจช
View All Posts by เจฐเฉ‚เจช
 

Kind words sent to me...

Dear Rupinder:

I understand your philosophy, even I am an experimentalist, but you have to tread very carefully. Punjabi is not yet prepared for revolutionary experimentation

 

Harjap Aujla

12 Jun 2010

Reply